Message to Nithyananda & Sri Ananda Sarvasri: GET OFF THE PHONE! There's Nobody Home!
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. How's things going? Rrrrribawaba. Oh, dear, '
Nithyananda's 2012 Prophecy Telemarketing Fraud (Life Bliss Foundation) featuring Sri Ananda Sarvasri
Sri Ananda Sarvasri is the telemarketer in the YouTube video above. Other upset parents reported that Sri Ananda Sarvasri left messages to their 15-year-old daughter and tried to coax her back into Sex Swami Nithyananda's cult. Not surprisingly, the parents are very upset with Sri Ananda Sarvasri and Nithyananda's sex cult. By Sri Ananda Sarvasri's omission, criminal complaints can be made against Sri Ananda Sarvarsri for aiding and abetting a sexual predator to commit sexual crimes against minors.Wow, '
So, 'Paramahmasa' Nithyananda, what great message do you have to tell people in your 48-minutes of enlightened wisdom? We'll we ask that question, because our readers really don' have time or more accurately don't want to take the time to watch you do another Medhananda speech again. Yes, Sri Nithyananda, ripping off Osho was much more entertaining. You should try to channel him again. At least people won't fall asleep to the Medhananda drone and then you, '
Hey, Sri Nithyananda, looks like your strategy was already used:
As with some other New Age faiths, they combined Christian doctrine (particularly the ideas of salvation and apocalypse) with the concept of evolutionary advancement and elements of science fiction, particularly travel to other worlds and dimensions.No, Sri Nithyananda, that wasn't from Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh). Give up? It was from Heaven's Gate. Yes, that Heaven's Gate. You, know, '
Yes, Sri Nithyananda, they offered their followers a better life, just sort of like the same thing that you offer. Only their cult leader, Marshall Applewhite, seemed to be a little more sincere than you, '
How about that poor chap that made the phone call to us? Oh, yes, Sri Ananda Sarvasri, from North Carolina. We're sure you have good memories about being in North Carolina. Such a pleasant place. Well, right now, it looks like Sri Ananda Sarvasri is high up there in your Bliss Tower. Isn't the Bliss Tower the nice name you gave for your telemarketing call center? You know, that's the perfect place to put able westerners that you don't trust to talk to other able westerners who you don't like but who have money? Frankly, we would rather be strung up in the London Tower, but that's our personal preference.
"...There's a video that Nithyananda made... aughaughaughmmm (sound of clearing his throat)... on 2012. People were asking if the, ah, the video, if, I mean, ah, the 2012 Prophecies that were forecast(ed) were real..."Sorry, Sri Nithyananad, it seems that Ananda Sarvasri's voice just does not exude confidence that what you're selling is true. Does he believe your message about 2012? Maybe he was just tired.
Oh, look, here's a picture of Sri Ananda Sarvasri:
We hear that Sri Ananda Sarvasri is now completely shaved just like charter members of Heaven's Gate cult. Was that your idea, '
Say, didn't Sri Ananda Sarvasri used to be one of your acharya's (teachers), you remember, '
...meditating 8-12 hours per day, continuing for 10-12 years or more... rarely practicing less than four hours per day.Wow, all that mediation and look at the wisdom built up from it! Now, he's able to do telemarketing cold calls. Amazing. Maybe '
There, you can give him a phone call and perhaps leave him a pre-recorded message, send him a polite email, or even a snail mail through the trusted postal service to the address given. And, if you happen to be in North Carolina, you can even drive your car over to his place and say "Hi, Sri Ananda Sarvasri. Please stop calling my phone."
Loyal readers, if you like to get '
Be sure to mention these organizations and Employer Inddentification Numbers (EIN). That's like the enterprise social security number that lets the government agencies such as the IRS know the specific organization, so there's no wiggle room in this wiggly outfit:
1. Life Bliss Foundation (the YouTube Videos that are suggested to be watched are listed under this organization)If you, our loyal readers, think that Nithyananda and his fraudulent telemarketers really overstepped, like called your under-aged daughter, etc., then we recommend contacting the police and FBI at these links:
2. Nithyananda Foundation (Nithyananda's Foreign Corporation operating in the U.S.A.)
3. Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam Temple and Cultural Center a.k.a. Montclair Nithyananda Vedic Temple (since Sri Ananda Sarvasri, the telemarketer, made calls on behalf of Nithyananda's ashram in India. This is the U.S. equivalent.)
Report Criminal Activity to the FBI Tips PageBack to you, Sri Nithyananda. So what kind of response do you think you will get from your telemarketing efforts? You will say, "Very positive and blissful." Sorry, there, '
Report Criminal Activity to the City of Montclair Police Contact Page (scroll down for the Police Department)
We have to hand it to this wonderful person, Steve, for standing up to you, '
So, Sri Nithyananda, since your telemarketers and email spamsters have blown such wonderful winds (some might call this flatulence) in our sales, we would actually like to encourage you to do more telemarketing! Just think, it will keep all those nosey-bodied westerners preoccupied so they are not looking at your personal chambers wonder if their hidden video cameras in your bedroom are working or not. At the same time, it gets the word out. And, even if more messages are left and people make YouTube videos out of them, then even more marketing is done. No news is bad news for you, Sri Nithyananda, and your Blue Ocean Marketing Strategy, correct?
We knew that you would agree, Sri Nithyananda, so we made these scripts that you can use royalty free. Honest it is all for your benefit, '
For your first script, use one of your female cult followers, who has a sensual and seductive voice, to call potential cult victims who are male and married:
Hi, this Ma Curveananda. I'm calling from Nithyananda's ashram in India. It is late, and I'm very lonely. We just had a wonderful experience where we meditated and felt our outer-bodies connect with all the other outer-bodies of us, special followers. Now I'm ready to go to the next step. You really should come out to Nithynananda's ashram in Bidadi and do the 45-day program. I'll be there and many of my friends who just turned 18 will also be there. And, we are all very exciting in seeing you there. Let me tell you that being in Nithyananda's energy field is such a heavenly ambiance. Soooo fulfilling. For mind, soul, and especially body. Later, when you get involved in Swami's Mission, you'll be busy traveling place to place doing his work, that there's all kinds of opportunities await for special one-on-one spiritual practices just like the Master made famous on YouTube. Oh, please do come. I'll be waiting. Bye.Then you, '
Hi, this is Sri Studananda. I'm calling from Nithyananda's ashram in India. I just want to encourage you to watch one of the Master's videos on 'freedom'. You see, being in the ashram and in Swami's special energy field, is the ultimate freedom. Whether you are suffering from office politics, out-of-control children, disinterested husbands, and even boring school work, you can leave that all behind for a better life. In Swami's energy field, everything is taken care of. Children get the loving embrace of fellow ashramites as they experience Swami's 'free range' program. Your career will just leave this worldly world and go into the Divine practices of building Swami's empire. No more status meetings, office politics, annual reviews, etc. All gone. As those ingrate husbands, we'll they begin to really appreciate you when you are no longer available. Just take Swami's sanyasi (monk) initiation, and make them feel sorry for a lifetime. Yes, imagine the look on your sorry-excuse of a husband's face when he realizes he no longer has you to call his own, when he is in financial ruin, and he has to look after the kids. It's the ultimate blissful revenge! And, you get good karma and enlightenment too because you are now helping an enlightened master do his divine work. Please come for our 45-day program. Spaces are limited. You better make your reservation now! MasterCard or Visa. Don't miss the Master or else you will die unhappily in 2012. See you soon.And finally, for all those up-and-coming potential room service ladies that used to be left on your doorstep by their parents, well, now you have to market to them, aggressively. '
Congratulations! You have been identified by a genuine Paramahamsa as being in your past life a bona fide gopi, that's milk maiden from the days of Lord Krishna! (try to sound excited) And if you act now, you will reach the ultimate experience of Nithyananda's brand of enlightenment. This limited time-offer is only available if you act now. So, you're only 16? How do you know that for sure? Well, not a problem. Swami has a team of aggressive lawyers and a Non Disclosure Contract (NDA) that will guarantee that the Master will never see a legal issue from such a minor detail that has been imposed by the worldly society from jealous people of other faiths. All you need to do is take your parents credit card and charge it to the Nithyananda and Life Bliss Foundations, which are charitable, nonprofit organizations that helps make the world a better place. Then hop on a plane, and you'll be taken care of the minute you arrive and sign all the little legal formalities. It couldn't be easier. So, make your reservations today before this limited time offer expires and you get fat and no longer show signs of being a genuine gopi Hurry, make your reservations now!There you go, '
OK, Sri Nithyananda, we want to leave you with a nice song. We haven't forgotten our promise to find a nice song about snakes and because we know that, you, '
Get Off the Phone, Nithyananda!
And, here's some of the lyrics. They describe you, '
What's that ringing sound?
Everything's going round and round
Calling everybody and their mother too
But don't call me cause I just left you so,
Get off the phone
There's nobody home
So get off the phone
Cause I don't want you
Cause I don't want you
And for our music enthusiast, this video has the better mix of the same song, but doesn't have that great dancing:
Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.
Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against '