Nithyananda's Telemarketing Fraud & Cult Recruit Campaign; Sri Ananda Sarvasri, Stop Abetting a Sex Predator!!!

Message to Nithyananda & Sri Ananda Sarvasri: GET OFF THE PHONE! There's Nobody Home!
Hi there, Sri Nithyananda. How's things going? Rrrrribawaba. Oh, dear, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we don't understand, but you do sound a bit hoarse. Have you been on the phone? We thought that after being busted in Himachal Pradesh where the police were able to trace your cell phone, that you would be talking a bit less. Yes, we understand, that right now, there's hardly any devotees, and worse yet, the donations have dried up to being almost nonexistent. So, we understand that under circumstances of desperation, you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, have to make the effort. After all, being fully enlightened and an avatar of more deities than we can remember, simple isn't enough in these dark ages of Kali Yuga. You 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, are right, telemarketers are needed to help save your special (we call corrupted) version of Vedic Culture.

'Swami' Nithyananda, let's listen to one of your telemarketers now, shall we?

Nithyananda's 2012 Prophecy Telemarketing Fraud (Life Bliss Foundation) featuring Sri Ananda Sarvasri

Sri Ananda Sarvasri is the telemarketer in the YouTube video above. Other upset parents reported that Sri Ananda Sarvasri left messages to their 15-year-old daughter and tried to coax her back into Sex Swami Nithyananda's cult. Not surprisingly, the parents are very upset with Sri Ananda Sarvasri and Nithyananda's sex cult. By Sri Ananda Sarvasri's omission, criminal complaints can be made against Sri Ananda Sarvarsri for aiding and abetting a sexual predator to commit sexual crimes against minors.

Wow, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, your telemarketers must be triply enlightened. Why do you ask we say that? Good question, Sri Nithyananda. First, your telemarketers follow you, so you must have made them enlightened seeing how easy it is for you to make people enlightened specially if they have a few thousand dollars and a six-digit income which ten percent per year is guaranteed to be donated to you. Second, your telemarketers must be enlightened because who else but enlightened people would travel half-way around the world to such a fabulous nation like India just to sit in some small stuffy room working around-the-clock to make cold calls to whomever might be on your spam list. Only enlightened people in your order would see the work of slave-induced drudgery to be just the same as something that worldly people would think of as being relaxing, such as sitting on the warm beach in the shade, drinking chilled coconut milk from a coconut. So, your telemarketers are now certified to be enlightened. Can we see their certificates? And, third and finally, of all people on the list, your telemarketers had to give us a call. Now, that clears any doubt that these people are enlightened. They have conquered fear, humility, and common sense. By the way, who's in charge of updating your spam, we mean, candidates for 'enlightenment' lists? Is this a task that sometimes-Swami Sri Sachitananda, Developer of your Blue Ocean Strategy, is responsible for? Is this his brainchild to give us a call, knowing that we'll make a YouTube video out of it and unwittingly do your marketing by getting hundreds of other people to listen to your message? Wow, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we have to think that a marketing strategy of that caliber could only come from an enlightened follower of yours.

OK, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, so you had the nerve to give us a call and then leave a message. Amazing. So, what do you want us to do? Oh, we see, you want us to watch one of your brainwashing, ooops, we meant to see captivating videos about 2012. 'Swami' Nithyananda, that's an amazing thing to do. Yes, Hollywood and perhaps even Bollywood (although its hard to do singing, dancing, and choreography during a disaster) has already publicized this 'spiritual' event. A total pre-marketed event 'buzz'. Images of a set of tidal waves lapping the high peaks of the Himalayas really stand out in everyone's mind. There's already built in fear, curiosity, worry, etc. So, you 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, just need to make a video that makes your position sound almost logical and that you can offer people hope and protection. A solution. A Guaranteed Solution from an Enlightened Master. Brilliant. Then, you Sri Nithyananda, will have these YouTube addicted watchers tell all their friends, and pretty soon your bribed-drained coffers are just flooded again with donations.

So, 'Paramahmasa' Nithyananda, what great message do you have to tell people in your 48-minutes of enlightened wisdom? We'll we ask that question, because our readers really don' have time or more accurately don't want to take the time to watch you do another Medhananda speech again. Yes, Sri Nithyananda, ripping off Osho was much more entertaining. You should try to channel him again. At least people won't fall asleep to the Medhananda drone and then you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, have a fighting chance to brainwash them. Sorry. We digress. Sri Nithyananda, we know that you'll try to get our readers to watch your video, so we'll cut to the chase and tell them. For 48 minutes, Nithyananda rambles on to say that the center of gravity will get lighter. So, peolpe's pull to the planet will be less. That's the big cosmic shift that will occur. As a result, some people will fall deep into depression (threat of not following you, Sri Nithyananda), but to the fortunate few who follow you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, and become 'enlightened', they will be saved. So, there you, go, readers, you better all take three weeks off and pay what ever price Nithyananda expects plus a pretax-ten-percent donation of your annual income and become enlightened or else, DEPRESSION! We'll get our checkbook ready now.

Hey, Sri Nithyananda, looks like your strategy was already used:

As with some other New Age faiths, they combined Christian doctrine (particularly the ideas of salvation and apocalypse) with the concept of evolutionary advancement and elements of science fiction, particularly travel to other worlds and dimensions.

No, Sri Nithyananda, that wasn't from Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh). Give up? It was from Heaven's Gate. Yes, that Heaven's Gate. You, know, 'Swami' Nithyananda, the cult group from San Diego that all committed suicide back in 1997. Why you can read about them here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heaven's_Gate_(religious_group)

Yes, Sri Nithyananda, they offered their followers a better life, just sort of like the same thing that you offer. Only their cult leader, Marshall Applewhite, seemed to be a little more sincere than you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. At least he believed the things he said, and lived the lifestyle that he preached. In fact, he even had himself castritrated to maintain austerity. Could you, Sri Nithyananda, imagine just for a moment, undergoing castritation voluntarily? Yes, forget about what those angry, cheated crowds outside think, this would be a personal decision. No, 'Swami' Nithyananda, we knew that you would not be up to the task as much as you try to be on the 'cutting edge' of spirituality. In fact, we doubt that you would ever have your followers commit suicide. Just having them give up their identities, surrenderer their savings, finances, property, and material wealth as well as slave endlessly for you. And, perhaps if they had a hot daughter or willing wife, let her do some room service and really get enlightened. But, suicide, nah, not in your cult. Dead corpses are not much use, are they, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda? You look a bit pale. Did we just stumble upon something? OK, I think we better move along.

And, 'Swami' Nithyananda, why aren't you taking a more hard-line approach to 2012? Why didn't you used to try to scare one of our contributors to this blog by saying that the home that this person owned is on a very delicate piece of land, and that it stood a chance of completely collapsing? Why of course, Sri Nithyananda, you never told this person directly, but you told ashramites like Sri Paranormalananda to 'whisper' it in that person's ear. Very effect true-and-tried 'us' vs. 'them' cult technique. And, in exchange for donating that house, you would offer 'protection'. Do you, 'Paramahamsa' still do a whisper campaign? Do you still make threats and play on people's fear and emotions? You will say 'No'. Sorry, Sri Nithyananda, wrong again. Someone just has to watch one of your 2012 videos to see the real you.

How about that poor chap that made the phone call to us? Oh, yes, Sri Ananda Sarvasri, from North Carolina. We're sure you have good memories about being in North Carolina. Such a pleasant place. Well, right now, it looks like Sri Ananda Sarvasri is high up there in your Bliss Tower. Isn't the Bliss Tower the nice name you gave for your telemarketing call center? You know, that's the perfect place to put able westerners that you don't trust to talk to other able westerners who you don't like but who have money? Frankly, we would rather be strung up in the London Tower, but that's our personal preference.

'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we just love it how Sri Ananda Sarvasri (the telemarketer) clears his voice at 0:56 in the video as though he doesn't believe your message himself:

"...There's a video that Nithyananda made... aughaughaughmmm (sound of clearing his throat)... on 2012. People were asking if the, ah, the video, if, I mean, ah, the 2012 Prophecies that were forecast(ed) were real..."

Sorry, Sri Nithyananad, it seems that Ananda Sarvasri's voice just does not exude confidence that what you're selling is true. Does he believe your message about 2012? Maybe he was just tired.

Oh, look, here's a picture of Sri Ananda Sarvasri:

Sri Ananda Sarvasri, who seems to 'blissful' (or brainwashed) to be able to tell right from wrong

We hear that Sri Ananda Sarvasri is now completely shaved just like charter members of Heaven's Gate cult. Was that your idea, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, to be the only sometimes-male member of your cult left with any hair at all? That must help keep the competition down for any challenges that arise on claims to your harem, oops, we meant to say room service ladies who all used to be Gopis (milk maidens to you or perhaps Lord Krishna) in a former life. Or, 'Swami' Nithyananda, making all your non-essential male followers shave their heads is that just one more form of social cult-control to keep them in your back pocket?

Say, didn't Sri Ananda Sarvasri used to be one of your acharya's (teachers), you remember, 'Swami' Nithyananda, back when people wanted to learn from you, before the scandal? Look here's Sri Ananda Sarvasri's Acharya page thanks to archive.org. It says that he spent:

...meditating 8-12 hours per day, continuing for 10-12 years or more... rarely practicing less than four hours per day.

Wow, all that mediation and look at the wisdom built up from it! Now, he's able to do telemarketing cold calls. Amazing. Maybe 'Swami' Nithyananda, Sri Ananda Sarvasri did the wrong types of meditation. Do you think that Sri Ananda Sarvasri did any pranayama (breathing meditation techniques)? Pranayama can certainly help sharpen one's mind and build intellect, correct? Oh, we're sorry, Sri Nithyananda, we forgot that you discouraged pranayama. We don't know why. Actually, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, we remember Sri Ananda Sarvasri. He really is a very nice, sweet, gentle, and sincere seeker. Just the type of person you like to trap in your cult. And, trapped deep into your cult he is. We couldn't think of a better example of being brainwashed. So, readers, if you would like to help Sri Ananda Sarvasri come out of this evil trap, or at the very least to have him stop calling you, then cruz on over to the contact page Sri Ananda Sarvasri's website:

http://www.rebuildhealth.com/contact.html

There, you can give him a phone call and perhaps leave him a pre-recorded message, send him a polite email, or even a snail mail through the trusted postal service to the address given. And, if you happen to be in North Carolina, you can even drive your car over to his place and say "Hi, Sri Ananda Sarvasri. Please stop calling my phone."

Loyal readers, if you like to get 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda to stop giving you or your family members telemarketing cold calls that try to lure you back into the cult, we suggest that you click on one of these user-friendly links that are specifically set up by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to handle such annoyances and breaches of the law:

The National Do-Not-Call Registry

File a Complaint with the FCC On-line Form

Be sure to mention these organizations and Employer Inddentification Numbers (EIN). That's like the enterprise social security number that lets the government agencies such as the IRS know the specific organization, so there's no wiggle room in this wiggly outfit:

1. Life Bliss Foundation (the YouTube Videos that are suggested to be watched are listed under this organization)
EIN: 651273065

2. Nithyananda Foundation (Nithyananda's Foreign Corporation operating in the U.S.A.)
EIN: 02-0716687

3. Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam Temple and Cultural Center a.k.a. Montclair Nithyananda Vedic Temple (since Sri Ananda Sarvasri, the telemarketer, made calls on behalf of Nithyananda's ashram in India. This is the U.S. equivalent.)
EIN: 20-8300841

If you, our loyal readers, think that Nithyananda and his fraudulent telemarketers really overstepped, like called your under-aged daughter, etc., then we recommend contacting the police and FBI at these links:

Report Criminal Activity to the FBI Tips Page

Report Criminal Activity to the City of Montclair Police Contact Page (scroll down for the Police Department)

Back to you, Sri Nithyananda. So what kind of response do you think you will get from your telemarketing efforts? You will say, "Very positive and blissful." Sorry, there, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda, wrong again. We couldn't believe the backlash that your telemarketing efforts caused. We had former members of yours we haven't heard from ever, not before the scandal, not after the scandal, and they, just out of the blue, contacted us and wanted to know what they could do to stop you and your cult. Perhaps Sri Ananda Sarvasri really has some hidden charm or latent resentment toward you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, and your fraud. Maybe it was that haircut that you forced on him. We don't know. We do know that there was one person so upset, that he began to make a series of YouTube videos just to let everyone know how bad and what type of relentless, or shall we say, clueless follow up that your 'enlightened' telemarketers and email spamsters have. Here's his YouTube channel now:

http://www.youtube.com/user/Vedic21

We have to hand it to this wonderful person, Steve, for standing up to you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda and your cult of enlightened telemarketers. If we did our job like Steve did, then we might not have lost our daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, etc. to your insidious cult trap. Steve is doing a tremendous service to the world, and later we will dedicate a whole blog post to highlight his efforts and videos. So, stay tuned, 'Swami' Nithyananda. More good things will be here shortly.

So, Sri Nithyananda, since your telemarketers and email spamsters have blown such wonderful winds (some might call this flatulence) in our sales, we would actually like to encourage you to do more telemarketing! Just think, it will keep all those nosey-bodied westerners preoccupied so they are not looking at your personal chambers wonder if their hidden video cameras in your bedroom are working or not. At the same time, it gets the word out. And, even if more messages are left and people make YouTube videos out of them, then even more marketing is done. No news is bad news for you, Sri Nithyananda, and your Blue Ocean Marketing Strategy, correct?

We knew that you would agree, Sri Nithyananda, so we made these scripts that you can use royalty free.  Honest it is all for your benefit, 'Swami' Nithyananda.  (Hey, we learned that line from you).

For your first script, use one of your female cult followers, who has a sensual and seductive voice, to call potential cult victims who are male and married:

Hi, this Ma Curveananda. I'm calling from Nithyananda's ashram in India. It is late, and I'm very lonely. We just had a wonderful experience where we meditated and felt our outer-bodies connect with all the other outer-bodies of us, special followers. Now I'm ready to go to the next step. You really should come out to Nithynananda's ashram in Bidadi and do the 45-day program. I'll be there and many of my friends who just turned 18 will also be there. And, we are all very exciting in seeing you there. Let me tell you that being in Nithyananda's energy field is such a heavenly ambiance. Soooo fulfilling. For mind, soul, and especially body. Later, when you get involved in Swami's Mission, you'll be busy traveling place to place doing his work, that there's all kinds of opportunities await for special one-on-one spiritual practices just like the Master made famous on YouTube. Oh, please do come. I'll be waiting. Bye.

Then you, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda can have your deep masculine male followers call married ladies who have been earmarked as being suseptible for falling into your cult trap. That message could go like this:

Hi, this is Sri Studananda. I'm calling from Nithyananda's ashram in India. I just want to encourage you to watch one of the Master's videos on 'freedom'. You see, being in the ashram and in Swami's special energy field, is the ultimate freedom. Whether you are suffering from office politics, out-of-control children, disinterested husbands, and even boring school work, you can leave that all behind for a better life. In Swami's energy field, everything is taken care of. Children get the loving embrace of fellow ashramites as they experience Swami's 'free range' program. Your career will just leave this worldly world and go into the Divine practices of building Swami's empire. No more status meetings, office politics, annual reviews, etc. All gone. As those ingrate husbands, we'll they begin to really appreciate you when you are no longer available. Just take Swami's sanyasi (monk) initiation, and make them feel sorry for a lifetime. Yes, imagine the look on your sorry-excuse of a husband's face when he realizes he no longer has you to call his own, when he is in financial ruin, and he has to look after the kids. It's the ultimate blissful revenge! And, you get good karma and enlightenment too because you are now helping an enlightened master do his divine work. Please come for our 45-day program. Spaces are limited. You better make your reservation now! MasterCard or Visa. Don't miss the Master or else you will die unhappily in 2012. See you soon.

And finally, for all those up-and-coming potential room service ladies that used to be left on your doorstep by their parents, well, now you have to market to them, aggressively. 'Swami' Nithyananda, you will need to have someone really sleazy and totaling lacking of any character or morals. Oh, yes, Bhaktananda will do. We suggest a script like this:

Congratulations! You have been identified by a genuine Paramahamsa as being in your past life a bona fide gopi, that's milk maiden from the days of Lord Krishna! (try to sound excited) And if you act now, you will reach the ultimate experience of Nithyananda's brand of enlightenment. This limited time-offer is only available if you act now. So, you're only 16? How do you know that for sure? Well, not a problem. Swami has a team of aggressive lawyers and a Non Disclosure Contract (NDA) that will guarantee that the Master will never see a legal issue from such a minor detail that has been imposed by the worldly society from jealous people of other faiths. All you need to do is take your parents credit card and charge it to the Nithyananda and Life Bliss Foundations, which are charitable, nonprofit organizations that helps make the world a better place. Then hop on a plane, and you'll be taken care of the minute you arrive and sign all the little legal formalities. It couldn't be easier. So, make your reservations today before this limited time offer expires and you get fat and no longer show signs of being a genuine gopi Hurry, make your reservations now!

There you go, 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. If you just follow these three scripts, you just might get the desired effects. We're sure that you, Sri Nithyananda, will be on the your way if you just follow these simple steps. We won't tell you exactly where you'll be on your way... but it will be some place, that you be assured of. After all, you're a genuine self-titled Paramahamsa, you can do anything. We're sure that you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, are just playing out this lela (Divine play) for us to fall in love with you all over again. Yes, falling is an appropriate word. Watch that next step, it's a real doozy.

OK, Sri Nithyananda, we want to leave you with a nice song. We haven't forgotten our promise to find a nice song about snakes and because we know that, you, 'Swami' Nithyananda, love to call people 'snakes' and 'dogs'. And, yes, we already posted the dog-song thing. Remember?  But, that snake song is going to have to wait. Here's a song by former New York Dolls member Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers done way back in 1977. Was that the year you were born? Anyway, we thought it was an appropriate due to your recent exploits.

Get Off the Phone, Nithyananda!


And, here's some of the lyrics. They describe you, 'Paramahamsa' perfectly!:

What's that ringing sound?
Everything's going round and round
Calling everybody and their mother too
But don't call me cause I just left you so,

Get off the phone
There's nobody home
So get off the phone
Cause I don't want you
Cause I don't want you

And for our music enthusiast, this video has the better mix of the same song, but doesn't have that great dancing:

Get Off the Phone, Nithyananda!

Follow your dharma. Use your common sense. Listen to your inner-conscience, and follow the Truth. Come out of this trap, and escape from this fake and fraudulent cult scam.

Special thanks to our super commenter, Anonymous, a.k.a. Ma Mark Jackson of Los Angeles, with a Comcast IP address of 67.188.196.# (Comcast Cable), operating in or near Fremont, using a Mac OS X 10.5, FireFox browser, screen resolution of 1440 x 900, and a color depth of 24 bits and who has political connections by claiming that her "Uncle is a serious high court judge in Chennai". Thanks for inspiring us to go forward to continue the battle against 'Paramahamsa' Nithyananda. You were a real savior.